Yesterday was my birthday...
YAY!
Happy Birthday to me!
I almost didn't celebrated, I was not in the mood of doing anything, just to be home watching movies and not answering the phone. That is how depression works, but even though I was feeling down, I decided to do something, and with the help of my family and some friends I made a karaoke-party. Did I forget to mention that I love singing and dancing?
I quit my job of 10 years, two weeks ago, right know I'm broke and I have a personal debt of $8,000. I couldn't manage being there anymore. I wanted to quit long time ago, and I could have done it when I didn't have any debt, when I didn't have anything to pay, but on that time I was paying the school. Now, I'm not paying it, but I have an old debt from the last semester with my credit card for paying the school with it, and my sisters quinceañera. But I finally decide to quit. I learn that the debts never go away, I wait for ten years to be debt free to quit that frustrared job and I never could. So, I got tired of waiting and I quit.
I been waiting all my life for everything awesome happening to me, I thought being patience and wait would be the key. But on my 29 years now, I learn that is not true. I always knew I had to fight for I wanted, but I never knew how, I always knew being out doing what you love it would make you happy, but I never knew what I did love, because I never seat and think what do I want.
I think I have been waiting long enough, and I think I need to go after for what I want. Yet, I do not know what do I want. I just know that I want to travel the world, I want to be successful but not consume by work, I want to be able to help my family, but be able to be free. I want spread happiness without feeling any depression, and someone out there who ever he is can see it and fall in love for what I am, for my shine and not try to steal it or turn it off. That is what I want, how am I going to get it, I still don't know.
Despite of my karaoke-party rush, I had a really good time. My parents paid for everything, for the karaoke, the food, the cake, EVE-RY-THING. Some of my friends came and some they didn't, I knew one of them didn't come because she didn't want it, which I don't care. I learn a long time ago if someone is going to be with you, they are going to be because they want to, I don't want anyone to be just because they have to, I wanted to be because they like to be around me. I had a really good time, I really good party. I'm glad that I decide to fight the depression yesterday, but I know this is going to be and every day fight.
but... I'M NOT ALONE
Happy 29th Birthday to me!
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