Holiday!

Dear Friend:

Happy Easter!

This holy week has been a little bit tough.
On Tuesday my aunt just died; we knew she was sick but we didn't know about what because my uncle was private on that subject. He only limit to say "she can't see" "she can't walk" "she is resting, and don't want to see anyone". We never visit her, the only person we saw was my uncle, we love my uncle, especially my mom, he is her brother. They live in Monterrey, and we couldn't go to visit them.
My mom cried because we can't go, and no because we didn't want it too, or because we have to work, or we didn't have money. It was because we simple can't. We are illegal in this Country.
I didn't choose to come to this country, my parents brought me when I was 18. I didn't have an option, and I didn't want to leave my country. I love my city, but I couldn't stay with anyone. Here in the USA when you are 18 you leave home, and you leave "by yourself" even though your parents are paying for it, or the school is paying you everything. Us, hispanics, is different, when we are 18 we are adults, but we don't leave home until we are ready, READY. We leave home until we can support ourselves financially, without the money of our parents of any school, and even that, even when we can support ourselves, we stay with our parents to help them pay some of the bills on the house.
We actually leave, when we get marry. That is why, at the age of 18, when they brought me to this country, I couldn't say no. We are raised as a close, conservative family, and that is they way how we continue.

I wish I could have go to the funeral of my aunt, and be with my uncle, but no.
Two days ago, I had a dream about me being in another country, I was in England, living in an apartment, that I have achieve my goal, I was so happy. I couldn't believe what I was living and then I wake up. Since that day, I wish for that dream to come true.

I have been stress, depresses and tired, too much homework, projects and exams. Is like, the professors think we don't have anything to do, that we just stay home doing nothing just waiting for the day of class to start, I mean I have two jobs, and most of the time I'm poor, no money, and stressed. But oh well, this is college, and I better keep going, I'm just 10 classes away from graduation and I don't know, what I'm going to do after. I'm scare actually, really, really scare and worry.

Depression is there...
depression is still with me...
but I'm fine, I'm ok.